High as a Kite

Drugs. You've got a view. You've got a memory. You may have an addiction.

No matter who you are, drugs play a role in your life. Whether you've done them or not, you've had interaction with someone who has. They are not only on the radio, and in movies, but they are on your street, and maybe even in your own house.

I've had my experiences. Over the past few months, questions have been asked. In the past week, I have been asked twice if I do drugs. Over the past month and a half, I have been told at least three times that I look like a "druggie". My response? I was.

Growing up, I had holes to feel. Drugs were a space filler. By the time I was in 7th grade, I had begun experimenting with prescription pills. Anything that I could get my hands on. They were an escape. They made the issues temporarily disappear.

As I continued my use through middle school and into high school, I saw myself change. I was consumed. My thought process was turned upside-down. It's all I could think about. I was never happy with myself. I replaced a kid's smile with a plastic one. The hole I thought I was filling, was getting bigger. The memories I thought I was washing away, began to haunt me more and more.

Not only did my mind change, but my body did as well. I was an athlete. But, my love for game was replaced with selfish ambition. My mind switched from team to a self-driven life due to an addiction, and ultimately, my sin. My eyes began to droop, and personal hygiene was a daily struggle. I guess this is why I look worn out now. I was being used, by myself.

I haven't been able to stop thinking about these comments. They have made me reflect on my life. They have made me take a close look in the mirror in both literal and figurative ways. Through this, I have come to two major conclusions.

One: It wasn't worth it. If I could get those days back, I would. No matter how high I got, it would wear off. I've come to learn that getting wasted, is a waste. The bottle would always run empty. I hurt myself, and others. Those days did nothing but create more baggage than I already had.
It wasn't worth it, because it wasn't Jesus. See, highs wear off, but the love of God doesn't. He doesn't create holes, but he makes them over flow. I wasted 3 years of my life.

No matter how fun you think it is, it's not worth it. If you use, don't. You're not only using drugs, but you're using yourself. This will end up in disappointment. Put it down. Jesus wants to give you a satisfaction that exceeds anything of this world.

Two: It's only by the Grace of God. I'm not good. I'm still an addict. I still have moments where I want to use. But, it's only by the grace of God that I can look at those people in the eye, and honestly say that I am clean. It hurts to think of what I have done to myself through my perversion. But, by the grace of God, Jesus has filled me with a joy that says I no longer need a high. I thank God for pulling me through the fire. I am so unworthy. He has over matched my sin with love. I have no reason to boast in myself, because it's only by the grace of God.

Everyday is a battle. I see things that remind me of using. When hard times come, my flesh says use. The Spirit of God says, "Be satisfied by me." I can tell you that as I am clean, I am high as a kite. But, not on drugs or sex. I have been lifted by the love of God. I have been lifted by the grace of a sovereign King.

No matter what you want to fill your life with, know that it doesn't compare to Christ.

Keep loving Jesus,
Seth Springs